Inner self (3)

1 Name: Anonymage : 2015-11-07 12:48 [Del]

Does anyone else keep track of exactly how they're feeling at that moment and how certain situations, foods, or substances have changed their inner mindscapes?

I was freefalling earlier while mowing the lawn due to not being engaged in escapism anymore and being forced to confront where I am in life. Now I'm back at stable, but as I'm writing this post, it's slowly eroding away. Lurking as opposed to posting will definitely help keep it at stable, and I might grab a coffee later to boost it to content. Perhaps I'll take the plunge and do something productive as a future investment on my mental state.

This kind of thinking has made me more shortsighted, but at least I'm more self-aware (in a sense) than I was before. Previously, I would experience brainfog around 2 PM without recognizing it for what it was, and I would spiral pretty hard because I was afraid that I would never be able to sleep well enough to stave it off (I had been sleeping 10+ hours in an effort to overcome it). Keeping track of my mental state has helped me realize that it happens only at that specific time, and prompted me to look it up. And turns out it's fairly common (something to do with the circadian rhythm). Now I plan ahead for it, and don't get upset when it happens.

2 Name: Anonymage : 2015-11-14 16:18 [Del]

I started to do this When I started no fap and played video games while wageslaving. When I stayed up all night fapping and depriving myself of sleep, my mental cognition got worse and I developed brain fog. After realizing this, I stopped fapping as much and ate regularly, and slept for a healthy amount of time. Gradually I noticed my brain fog fading and I felt more healthy overall, I could also get more stuff done.

When I'm in public in places that I frequent, my anxiety drops and I care less about what could possibly go wrong, because I'm used to the same routine. In a place that I don't frequent as much, say the supermarket, my anxiety spikes and I feel nervously clumsy. This feeling intensifies when I go to the cash register, since I try to rush things so I don't hold up the line and pack my things so It doesn't hit the other persons stuff. I also have more gas in public, which is very strange, since I rarely have gas when I'm alone in my room.

Eating in the morning makes a world of difference compared to when I don't eat in the morning. I have energy for a good part of the rest of the day, compared to me feeling tired when I don't eat breakfast. I used to never take showers, cum all over my room and piss all over my room. When I'm in a city I tread very carifully because I feel like I'm going to be mugged at any second, people are staring down at me judging my entire life worth, and I have to move fast to not disturb people. This has caused me many noticeable headaches, I really don't like going to the city. The suburbs are sort of the same, but to lesser degrees. The country doesn't feel that way at all though, I feel completely free there and without worry. The country is a wizards paradise. Exercising regularly has also helped my overall health and has noticeably improved my mental functions, especially with protein and other supplements/vitamins.

Depending on my usual sleeping pattern, I'll get tired at certain times the following days. The later I go to sleep a previous day, the sooner I will want to fall asleep the next day and the more impaired my mental functions will be. I've also noticed how vapid and npc like normals are, but I suppose all wizards do.

3 Name: Anonymage : 2019-10-14 23:58 [Del]

The decline of the USA is quite disturbing.

Americans seem to be living in some alternate universe.

Americans just change history to fit their narrative.

Americans scream that no one died during WWII.

Americans insist loving freedom means that you are a Commie.

Americans swear that the US never had black people before today.

Americans say that the US always TSA groping.

Americans insist the US always had food stamps.

Americans say the US debt doesn't need to be paid back.

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