Express Yourself (87)

1 Name: Anonymage : 2017-05-06 22:23 [Del]

I feel really good, like my brain wants to open up and shoot up a stem like a plant. I want to remember every moment.

38 Name: Anonymage : 2017-11-20 22:58 [Del]

Text is the most beautiful, hygienic, accurate, inobtrusive, silentest, ordered, graceful, thoroughly form of communication there is and it's a shame this board is not more active.

39 Name: Anonymage : 2017-11-22 06:01 [Del]

OP, were you on drugs? That sounds like a drugpost, no offense but you even mention "shooting up". If you weren't, congratulations I guess on achieving such unbounded natural happiness.

40 Name: Anonymage : 2017-11-23 06:50 [Del]

The fact that text is the best kind of communication we have ought to speak volumes about how far humanity has to go.

41 Name: Anonymage : 2017-11-24 00:47 [Del]

What would be the communication method of a super advanced humanity? Something like telepathy?

42 Name: Anonymage : 2017-12-01 10:24 [Del]

My eyes are smouldering with ire as I am constantly pushing myself upstream a river of filth, doing things I don't want to do so that I eventually can get a job and begin my journey towards accumulated wealth. I just want to become a NEET, read, do gardening, write.

It's hilarious and ironic how school has made my brain turn into mush. I can't even write proper sentences any more. I don't read, I don't write, I don't do what I used to do because every time I return to my lair, I am tired.

I'm not depressed, mind you. I am angry. I was a calm man before all this. Now in my every waking moment, I get overwhelmed by a demonic rage. I have slain my familiar because it scratched me when I stepped on it, and I struck my mother because she told me to pick up my things when I laid on the couch. I want out, I want to become my old peaceful quiescent self again.

43 Name: Anonymage : 2017-12-25 17:09 [Del]

That makes it sound like the next step after would be a hivemind.
Rather than telepathy, the next step should be knowledge. The ultimate shared universal knowledge of everything, of every possible thought and view from birth. This way there will be no need for expressions; there will be nothing to ponder about, nothing new to learn, no different outlook to change yours, and no regurgitating of the same shit every time everywhere. No one to listen to, no one trying to look inside your head. Just complacent silence.
I feel that's where we are heading.

44 Name: Anonymage : 2017-12-26 00:51 [Del]

i want to eviscerate myself and replace my intestines with the viscera of a a goat or a tube of sewn-together snakeskins

45 Name: Anonymage : 2018-01-23 22:30 [Del]

Guitar isn't that hard.

46 Name: Anonymage : 2018-04-05 19:34 [Del]

When i was on the internet for the first couple of times it was colored darker. I have a vague memory of a black website with a picture of a deep blue mystical looking lake, and also lots and lots of pages about space, emphasizing the blackness of it with conscious design choices. As google colonized they made everything look like a whiteboard. Everything is immediately knowable now and there are no more mysterious grottos to wander into.

This coincided in my life with increasingly encountering arrogant rationalist pricks who live by occams razor, so it's like there's some clear white light coming to make everything boring.

47 Name: Anonymage : 2018-04-05 19:39 [Del]

It's even better when it's danish text.

48 Name: Anonymage : 2018-04-07 08:41 [Del]


I spend a lot of time reading forgotten books, and see the increasing perfection of storage/retrieval of text and the richness and fidelity of text reproduction (e.g. layout, metadata on the volume, paper, etc, and etched figures) brings us towards the 'next step'.

Not telelpathy, instead a rise in the opportunities to suppress direct discussion

49 Name: Anonymage : 2018-04-07 08:41 [Del]


I spend a lot of time reading forgotten books, and see the increasing perfection of storage/retrieval of text and the richness and fidelity of text reproduction (e.g. layout, metadata on the volume, paper, etc, and etched figures) brings us towards the 'next step'.

Not telelpathy, instead a rise in the opportunities to suppress direct discussion

50 Name: Anonymage : 2018-07-15 19:47 [Del]

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore—

While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,

As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
“’Tis some visitor,” I muttered, “tapping at my chamber door—

        Only this and nothing more.”
Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December;

And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.

Eagerly I wished the morrow;—vainly I had sought to borrow
From my books surcease of sorrow—sorrow for the lost Lenore—

For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore—

        Nameless here for evermore.
And the silken, sad, uncertain rustling of each purple curtain

Thrilled me—filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;

So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating
“’Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door—

Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door;—

        This it is and nothing more.”
Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,

“Sir,” said I, “or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;

But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,

That I scarce was sure I heard you”—here I opened wide the door;—

        Darkness there and nothing more.
Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,

Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before;

But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, “Lenore?”

This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, “Lenore!”—

        Merely this and nothing more.
Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,

Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.

“Surely,” said I, “surely that is something at my window lattice;
Let me see, then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore—

Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore;—

        ’Tis the wind and nothing more!”
Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,

In there stepped a stately Raven of the saintly days of yore;

Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;
But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door—

Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door—

        Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,
“Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou,” I said, “art sure no craven,
Ghastly grim and ancient Raven wandering from the Nightly shore—
Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night’s Plutonian shore!”

        Quoth the Raven “Nevermore.”
Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly,

Though its answer little meaning—little relevancy bore;

For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being
Ever yet was blessed with seeing bird above his chamber door—

Bird or beast upon the sculptured bust above his chamber door,

        With such name as “Nevermore.”
But the Raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only

That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.

Nothing farther then he uttered—not a feather then he fluttered—
Till I scarcely more than muttered “Other friends have flown before—

On the morrow he will leave me, as my Hopes have flown before.”

        Then the bird said “Nevermore.”
Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,

“Doubtless,” said I, “what it utters is its only stock and store

Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful Disaster
Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore—

Till the dirges of his Hope that melancholy burden bore

        Of ‘Never—nevermore’.”
But the Raven still beguiling all my fancy into smiling,

Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird, and bust and door;

Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking
Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore—

What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt, and ominous bird of yore

        Meant in croaking “Nevermore.”
This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing

To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom’s core;

This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
On the cushion’s velvet lining that the lamp-light gloated o’er,

But whose velvet-violet lining with the lamp-light gloating o’er,

        She shall press, ah, nevermore!
Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer

Swung by Seraphim whose foot-falls tinkled on the tufted floor.

“Wretch,” I cried, “thy God hath lent thee—by these angels he hath sent thee
Respite—respite and nepenthe from thy memories of Lenore;

Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe and forget this lost Lenore!”

        Quoth the Raven “Nevermore.”
“Prophet!” said I, “thing of evil!—prophet still, if bird or devil!—

Whether Tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,

Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted—
On this home by Horror haunted—tell me truly, I implore—

Is there—is there balm in Gilead?—tell me—tell me, I implore!”

        Quoth the Raven “Nevermore.”
“Prophet!” said I, “thing of evil!—prophet still, if bird or devil!

By that Heaven that bends above us—by that God we both adore—

Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,
It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels name Lenore—

Clasp a rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore.”

        Quoth the Raven “Nevermore.”
“Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!” I shrieked, upstarting—

“Get thee back into the tempest and the Night’s Plutonian shore!

Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken!—quit the bust above my door!

Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!”

        Quoth the Raven “Nevermore.”
And the Raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting

On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;

And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon’s that is dreaming,
And the lamp-light o’er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;

And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor

        Shall be lifted—nevermore!

51 Name: Anonymage : 2018-10-04 08:48 [Del]

meanwhile I just want to be a fucking dragon

don't get me wrong, otherkins are autists, but the idea of being the last of an incredibly powerful kind means no breeding pressure and no putting up with having to function as a human being
no putting up with humanity in general until they dissect me

52 Name: Anonymage : 2018-10-04 22:15 [Del]

Just going through the day waiting for something to happen. Gettting up at 12PM, get in the shower, go to uni from 1 to 7, getting back home, cleaning whatever needs to be cleaned, then start drink from 11PM to whatever hour i fall asleep.

I'm going to move into a tiny new house in some months. I want to live alone. I need the solitude and the silence. I'm going to become insane if i keep going like this.

53 Name: Anonymage : 2018-10-08 05:28 [Del]

I never fell for the drinking trap, too many alcoholics in my family. For me it's vidya, and while I don't know about you - it only delays things.

Sometimes, when I'm sat down and can't distract myself any longer, there's this shapeless, undefined yawning hole of profound boredom of everything in me.
Simultaneously an absurd pressure, like there are things I need to make, like I need to express myself somehow (hence posting in this thread) to make sense of the world. Too afraid to write or draw. Can't look at anything I've made that wasn't in Lego or some other system with extremely strict construction rules on top of a much higher degree of design freedom without at least some disgust, and even then odds are pretty high.

54 Name: Anonymage : 2018-10-08 22:19 [Del]

It only delays things. I drink at night to help me fall asleep, not only because it makes you sleepy by itself, but sleeping aids only make you tired but they don't get rid of the anxiety.
I only drink a bottle of wine or a six pack a day, which isn't really much. But at least i can kind of bypass the nights until of having to deal with them.
I can't enjoy videogames nor anime anymore, most of my time is occupied reading or doing stuff around my car. It's nice to dissasemble stuff just to see how they work.

55 Name: Anonymage : 2018-10-10 05:13 [Del]

Agree with the dissasemble part. I really like working on computers and general electronics, and experimenting with them. I especally enjoy hardmodding of consoles and stuff.

56 Name: Anonymage : 2018-10-10 19:05 [Del]

I like general electronics too. I have boxes of old shit, not-working devices, parts, cables, etc. I usually try to craft stuff out of trash, things i can enjoy. My room is all around full of old speakers and an old subwoofer, leds, and little screens. You can make yourself comfortable if you know how to arrange trash around.

57 Name: Anonymage : 2018-11-01 20:51 [Del]

I've been having really weird dreams. The most concerning part is that they have been somehow based upon a female classmate of mine. There are some fragments which disturb me the most, not because of the content of the dream by itself, but by how i felt during the situation.
I dreamed that i was in uni, and some teacher i can't quite recall told us to go into some kind of enclosed amphitheater. After i entered, he told the girls to go suck off the men by their side. Everybody were naked, except me, and there were men with two or more girls with them at the same time. After i realized i didn't belong there, i went down and towards the exit door. Before getting outside, i thought i saw my classmate on her knees, and just before crossing the door i saw here licking the glans of some other guy. I felt devastated. I don't even know why. I don't feel anything for this girl. She's fat, and even thought she has a pretty face, i don't feel particularly attracted to her.
I got outside, and she was there. She wasn't the one i saw, her clothes were different. We held each other by our forearms, and got out of there jumping like kids. And i felt great.
Shit's weird man. Maybe it's a side effect of having been celibate for so long? I don't watch porn nor jerk off. I tried discarding women and my sexual instinct, and i thought i have made it by now. It's been two years.
Other dreams i've had are some kind of mixture of jealousy for her attention,as in giving it to other people and ignoring me; and peace because i could be with her.
I'll knock myself out drinking tonight, and hope those dreams cease.

58 Name: Anonymage : 2018-11-02 03:15 [Del]

Sounds like the perfect opportunity to start recording your dreams. I wouldn't care too much about their content other than as entertainment. It's pretty cool to go back and check my dreamlog from time to time, I managed to record every dream I had for about 5 months. It began to feel like a hassle near the end and I stopped, I wish I didn't though. You actually dream every night and once you start to write them down your dream memory improves a lot. After a couple of weeks doing this I was able to remember 2, 3 sometimes 4 different dreams from the same night, it's pretty interesting how the thing goes. It's actually one of the reasons I stopped in fact, it was taking so much time to write down everything I remembered because I would remember so much of it.

59 Name: Anonymage : 2018-11-06 21:27 [Del]

I like to write down my dreams too, except i made an habit out of taking 10 minutes laying down in bed after waking up, just to recapitale every aspect of the dream in a sequential manner.
It becomes easier and easier with time and practice, althought it may not be as reliable as writing them down on paper or a text file, you can still perfectly remember every part of the dream, with detail. I would advice you to start loging your dreams again: sometimes, those dreams which left you with a deep emotional impact, those which stay with you for the rest of the day, leaving you melancholic, anxious or even confused, they make you analyze (and sometimes over-analyze) the state of mind which led you to have such a particular reflection during your dream state. They may even be a good feedback if you want to look back at certain points in the past. I still remember my dreams from 2 years ago, dreams which left me with a depressing feeling of missing and dispair; now, two years later, i know exactly why i dreamed them, and remember them give me a good feeling of cute nostalgia.
I'm still dreaming with her, in a way which i can't even try to explain "why"; looking around for her, seeing her running far away, screaming for her to look back, in a large street full of people.
Tonight i'll try to watch horror movies and drink, or whatever works to stop this. Something to change my dreams' subject. I don't know if my brain is using her as a symbol for something i need that i'm not even aware of, but how could i know?

60 Name: Anonymage : 2018-11-06 22:49 [Del]

Mods? Something shady is going on here.

61 Name: Anonymage : 2018-11-06 23:10 [Del]

What's the problem, man?

62 Name: Anonymage : 2018-11-07 00:34 [Del]

So I was going to write in detail about how I cleaned my room recently but depression is starting to come back again. No will to finish my long ass post about it. At least the room is clean. I'll just post the first paragraph I managed to write. Sorry about that, maybe if it subsides again I'll finish it.

Last week I could barely sleep. I would close my eyes just to feel like immediately opening them again, and every direction I look there was stuff, piles of stuff. Not a single corner of my room was empty. In fact one would have to seek for a place to look directly at the floor, as there was 4 generations of carpets upon each other. Dating from my childhood days, each a different color. It was ridiculous really but it never bothered me enough until recently. At one point I shared this room with my brother and leftovers of his stay is also scattered across, all over. Ironically not one trash can in sight. Computer parts, whole computers, gym bags with only socks stuffed in them, shitty paintings unhung on the floor, video-game controllers, so much clothing that no one wore in years, perhaps decades even. Tools, gardening tools, drilling heads (no drill in sight), a bucket for dog food though the dog died in 2008, huge amounts of empty CD cases, DVDs, even a dozen of VCR tapes, a window frame (long story), bits and pieces of abandoned hobbies, abandoned books, books I've never read, books I planned to read. A chess board and a lot of missing pieces. Both kings missing, no black bishops, missing pawns on both sides. Inside my closet, clothing, pen drives, toys, eletronic parts, several mugs for some reason. Empty bags, numerous breath mints cans, some have screws inside if I remember correctly, some have coins, some have tiny pencils. There wa

63 Name: Anonymage : 2018-11-07 15:14 [Del]

Where are those missing chess pieces?

64 Name: Anonymage : 2018-11-07 15:58 [Del]

We used those chess pieces for other board games or simply as play things as kids, like aligning them and trying to knock them down with marble balls and stuff like that. So probably lost forever or stored inside other game boxes, who knows. They're made of plastic btw, it's not one of those valuable wooden sets you see out there.

65 Name: Anonymage : 2018-11-07 20:11 [Del]

Anything interesting, or something that gives you back memories? By how your room sounds to have been like, it seems it would be full of little treasures, even if those treasures are just trash. I would definitely get a scuba suit and hunt down for stuff.
I used to have big toybox, it was full of old toys and video games and controllers. Dozens of nes and sega genesis games, swords, lots of scrap electronic parts, speakers, knives, drawings and stuff.
I lost it all in a flood in 2010, i wish i could have saved some stuff.

66 Name: Anonymage : 2018-11-11 01:24 [Del]

I'm sorry you lost your belongings. No flood around here, I had to trash it all myself. It's done now. Everything brought memories but also dust, bugs, lack of space, visual pollution, I couldn't take it anymore. I did keep some stuff yes. Some Lego figures from the Pirate and Castle sets that came out in the early 90s. A Peter Rabbit book, an Aesop's Fables book and an old 1001 Nights book set. An Olivetti Lettera 22 made in Mexico. My mom got that in the 70s. It's so heavy, imposing but charming in design that I couldn't throw away. A 100 sided die from GameScience my brother got me as a birthday present many years ago. An old Nintendo DSi and some pieces of clothing.
There weren't any treasures really, most of it was just trash and not even that old. The stuff I just mentioned is probably the most valuable stuff I had in here.

67 Name: Anonymage : 2018-11-12 17:10 [Del]

Just seeing if I can reply from lynx.

68 Name: Anonymage : 2018-11-12 22:53 [Del]

Posted from links on another board when stayed in the countryside with a very unstable connection. Experience is oddly not that bad, though once you start taking for granted things like selected word definition lookup, clickless preview, or reply with number already inserted, it's most apparent how useful embedded scripts and styles are.

69 Name: Anonymage : 2018-11-14 14:03 [Del]

I'm hoping there will be a movement in web design towards structured pages with a focus on typography because the amount of javascript running on the modern net is enough to slow my old machine down. Another model could be client side styling like the reader mode a lot of browsers have now. I agree images, scripts and styles are nice to have but it's pretty crazy just how much bandwidth and computation is consumed by them. I use lynx pretty often for quickly looking something up like documentation or a question on stack overflow. I appreciate there are still places like this around where terminal browsers are still usable.

70 Name: Anonymage : 2018-12-24 15:07 [Del]

I was reading about genital symbolism. Well, I thought the best anti-genital symbol is the O with a bar through it (Ø) because it is a crossed-out hole, and also a symbol of castration. I was lurking the main site and saw the wizard flags crop up there today. The hat one is a penis. The crescent was specifically brought up in what I was reading to be a stinkubussy. These are symbols of creation of life, and I think a proper wizard symbol would not promote fertilization of eggs.

71 Name: Anonymage : 2018-12-24 15:09 [Del]

(it's a miniature saturn which some people will instinctively dislike, but saturn brings a cold death too.)

72 Name: Anonymage : 2019-08-19 18:08 [Del]

lmfao not much to express
I usually just boot up some roguelike or online game and try to perform there
I share some shit that needed to be shared, but I was making sure i won't do worse with leaks and won't harm myself too much. And no one cares lol, cuz a few shitholes I share stuff on are full-cliquesque and they only care about themselves
Gave up on some stuff I previously did and tried to do, got bored with insane thoughts and negative emotions
Gonna buy some booze and watch dota2 while listening to tunes and engaging in public and personal conversations until I rest enough to do something else? dunno
yeah that's the truth tbh

73 Name: Anonymage : 2019-08-19 18:08 [Del]

forgot to add - fuck this place too

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75 Name: Anonymage : 2019-08-21 10:33 [Del]

I guess this is our last goodbye
And you don't care, so I won't cry
And you'll be sorry when I'm dead
When all this guilt will be on your head
I guess you'd call it suicide
But I'm too full, to swallow my pride

76 Name: Anonymage : 2019-08-21 11:13 [Del]

all wizchads except me. Mods are wizchads. ADmin big wizchad.
Anonymages that aren't wizards are wizchad, wizkids are wizchads too.
All wizchads except me.

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78 Name: Anonymage : 2019-08-23 02:00 [Del]



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80 Name: Anonymage : 2019-08-24 00:17 [Del]

>That was like my first fetish when I was in middle school, I remember thinking of the concept of "girlfriend" and then my mind brought up this idea that I wouldn't have sex with one even if I got one but we'd pick hot guys together for her and then I'd think-up what a 13 year old imagines a really hot guy would be. Eventually I just cut out the succubus and started imagining and fapping to the hot guys that my mind would conjure up.

xd just wizchan all along

81 Name: Anonymage : 2019-08-24 01:27 [Del]

>Wizards do not naturally produce feelings. We are thinkers. Feelings are a psychic overlay that falls on us by an outside source. The Demiurge. They are inconsistent, you can have multiple feelings for the same event. Antidepressants neuter feelings at the expense of the thinking function. They make you dumber. As science progresses, we shall reach our true forms as pure thinkers. I for one can't wait for the day that humans are robots with organic components for organic functions.

this dumb motherfucker...

82 Name: Anonymage : 2019-08-24 01:46 [Del]

>Weird, I imagined at that age giant reverse gangbangs with myself surrounded on all sides by female flesh of every shape,size, color, and age. Using every inch of my body until they were all satisfied. Different set ups and situations but yeah that was usually the climax of my more long form sexual fantasies around that age.

now this is the wizzy i'm most like.

83 Name: Anonymage : 2019-08-24 08:06 [Del]

>Literally everyone is saying they sit at a PC all day and do nothing…. That's choosing for nothing ever change. That's a choice. What do you expect… Happy people didn't sit at home waiting for someone else to just Magiclip make them happy. Pathetic
>happy people
>happy people

another dumb nigga

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86 Name: Anonymage : 2019-11-07 08:04 [Del]

I have to impose some kind of restrictions on my thoughts and actions, or else i will go wild and irrational like always and ultimately get bummed out about it for another year. Before i would just try to impose blanket restrictions, like "no more fappin" or "no more time spent on wizchan" but now it's gotten to the point where none of that seems right and I have to be more modular about what is restricted and understand why. I feel less free than when I would make blanket restrictions, which is why people probably do that, because they at least get the freedom to goof off with less. But even though i'm uncomfortable, i also feel compelled to keep going.

87 Name: Anonymage : 2019-11-18 17:25 [Del]

Tyranny is really insidious. Commies and Nazis say Spain, North Korea, and the USSR were calm paradises under tyranny, but who wants to live in a prison?

Americans used to be taught to love morality, freedom, balanced budgets, and peace.

Now Americans are told to be immoral, and embrace tyranny, debt, and war.

People give up in police states.

Everything is illegal.

Why obey the law if the government and illegal immigrants don't?

The US is not a democracy.

Why try if the government has taken away your right to speak, protest, go to church, own a gun, have privacy, have property, be free from TSA groping, be free from extrajudicial assassination, be free torture, and be free from indefinite detention without trial?

You are just a slave now. Your life is over.

Why have free college if the government can just take everything you have?

When your life is a crime, who wouldn't embrace terrorism? Why not just destroy government property and kill government workers?

More destruction will lead to more repression and higher taxes. More tyranny and higher taxes will lead to more resistance until there is total war.

There are no other options.

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